hello. (& why this exists)

The truth is I’m writing this at 10pm on a Monday, sitting in the gym gear I’ve had on since this morning, whilst simultaneously writing a book and whilst my claude is cooking up the website you’re no doubt seeing this on in the background.

That probably says a lot about me. My chaotic, constantly active brain. Even in my sleep my brain is active. I dream just about every night and always have and chances are if you’re reading this and you know me well enough, I’ve probably told you about one of my dreams on occasion.

Idk how I got onto that, maybe I’m tired, but regardless, I am happy to be here. Not here as in where I physically am in France right now (even though I am happy to be here), but here as in, in my own little corner of the internet. It feels right. For a few months now, I’ve been floating through different waves of creativity & trying to land in a space where my creativity could live.

Back in March, I spent the month in Argentina. For over a year I've been travelling full time and it wasn't until I found myself in an art store in Buenos Aires, trailing behind my friend Dajana, who is just about a full-time artist, feeling like a kid in a toy shop that I realised how much I missed being creative.

I realised I didn't even carry a pencil around with me.

That day, I bought myself a tiny set of watercolours and a cheap watercolour pad thinking that if I never use them, that's fine.

But, I started painting. And pretty quickly I decided to set myself a little project - my friend Jai's birthday was coming up. He's a full-time traveller too, so he's kind of difficult to buy for. I went to buy him something from one of his favourite brands and nothing felt right. So I thought... what does he actually like? What's easy to travel with? What would he actually use or keep? And as an avid game player, I decided to paint him a custom deck of cards.

52 cards. Every single one hand-painted. Some are wholesome memories we share, some are inside jokes, some are just random things that came into my head. I spent practically all my free time that month (& into the next) making these tiny little artworks and I was loving every second of it.

And it made me realise - I've actually always been like this.

When I was younger I handmade jewellery and forced all my friends to do it with me for my birthday one year.

I handmade every birthday card I ever gave my family and coined them ‘Rachelz Cardz’, yes, with z’s.

I wrote several Harry Potter inspired fantasy novels and insisted on hand making every journal I wrote them in.

I had a whole sketchbook full of drawings of dogs that I'm sure mum still has somewhere.

I thrived in sewing class in high school and still whip out mum's old machine whenever I’m home & have a funky idea - though I'm quite impatient so they usually end up in the ‘imperfect’ pile in the corner of my cupboard.

I started making vlogs and edits on YouTube because I loved filming my international BMX travels and whilst they are super amateur, I love watching them back.

Dad and I handmade a surfboard rack from wood for our unnecessarily large collection of boards and it's still the star piece of my bedroom at my parents' place.

I went to pottery with mum right before I started travelling and probably would've stuck with it if I hadn't left.

And mum and I still do resin art together whenever I'm home and gift our creations to everyone for special occasions.

Now it's watercolours.

I guess I just recently unlocked a part of myself that was buried pretty deep for the past few years. And I'm excited to be back.

Since I picked up the watercolours back in March, I’ve been looking for somewhere to put all of this newfound creative energy. So that’s why we’re here.

I'm sharing more of this side of me and it's a bit scary, but if getting my phone stolen and posting a series filmed on my MacBook the same day in Argentina taught me anything, it's that I genuinely don't care what I put on the internet anymore (well, to a degree).

Creating things makes me happy. That's it. That's work that actually feels like play. I'm really glad you're here for it. In my little creative corner of the internet.